Category Archives: Couples

Alternative to Fighting

Choosing Not to Fight       In the Japanese martial art of Aikido, the defender uses skill to neutralize the attacker’s force without injury to either party.  By accepting the attack rather than opposing it, the defender goes with the attacker’s … Continue reading

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Four Ways to Kill Love

THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE MARITAL APOCALYPSE   It has become pretty apparent by now that one of the chief causes of our society’s ills is the breakdown of the family.  The key to stabilizing families is making marriage work.  … Continue reading

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Balancing Separateness and Togetherness in Marriage

SEPARATENESS AND TOGETHERNESS NEEDS   Two of the most important emotional needs of adults are the need to be an autonomous self in control of one’s own life and the need to be emotionally connected to another person.  Successful couples … Continue reading

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Your Partner is Already Telling You

YOUR PARTNER; YOUR TEACHER   Everyone would have a much easier time in their relationships if they would just go ahead and learn the lessons that are presented to them by their partners.  Or, if they would at least recognize … Continue reading

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Learn to Control Marital Conflict

CONTAIN CONFLICT TO MAINTAIN MARITAL BLISS   We know that every marriage includes some conflict and that an ability to resolve  conflict is necessary if one is to achieve a satisfying and lasting marriage.  Some conflicts are not readily resolved … Continue reading

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Early Marital Stresses

WHEN THE HONEYMOON IS OVER   When the champagne is all gone, the wedding flowers have long since wilted and the honeymoon is just a romantic memory, the real work of marriage begins.  In this stage, conflict can seem to … Continue reading

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Precision Loving

Precision Loving   If you care about the well-being and happiness of another person it may be said that you love that person.  But you can care very much and love a person with all your heart and still not … Continue reading

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Achieving Serenity in Marriage

SERENITY IN MARRIAGE   God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. So goes the famous Serenity Prayer.   It’s most well … Continue reading

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Can a Marriage be too Harmonious?

TOO MUCH HARMONY?   What is a “good marriage”?  How good does it have to be? And what does “good” mean, anyway.  Can a couple fight a lot and still have a “good marriage”?  What if they don’t fight at … Continue reading

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True Intimacy Depends Upon Separateness

INTIMACY DEPENDS ON SEPARATENESS   In earliest childhood our self-concept emerges from the symbiotic union of mother and baby.  Gradually it dawns on us that we are separate from our earliest caregivers.  First we learn we have a separate body … Continue reading

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