Positive Aspects of Divorce



While divorce can be a hardship for kids, it can also be

the best thing you could do for them.  Put simply, there are

some marriages that just don’t deserve to live.  If you can’t

or don’t want to fix it, maybe you should put it out of its

misery.  Your kids might just thank you for it someday.

In fact, a rotten marriage or a lousy parent can

constitute an undesirable role model for a kid.  When

conflict and violence dominate a family, divorce is a welcome

relief.  It can mean personal safety, perhaps for the first

time in years.  It can mean that we stop being victims.

When one parent calls a definite halt to irresponsible

and damaging behavior from the other they show their kids

that respect and responsibility are indispensable family


When parents can be honest about the damage their bad

marriage is doing to their kids and do something about it,

the message to the kids is, “I care about you.”

Just because a divorce is positive doesn’t mean it isn’t

painful.  But there are things that are worse and more

damaging than the pain of loss.  Living in denial for years

is probably more destructive.  It teaches kids to ignore

reality and to accept dysfunction as normal.  It teaches them

not to trust their own perceptions.

Often, after a divorce, a child will experience a better

relationship with a parent than they did before.  Indeed,

some parents are more available to their children after a

divorce than they have been throughout the marriage.  When

the dysfunctional marriage ends the child may be able to see

their parent’s true nature for the first time.

Some divorces are worse than others.  The same divorce

may be worse for one spouse than it is for the other.  The

one being left may suffer more than the leaver.  What is

positive for one partner may be negative for the other.  The

child, observing this, learns that two apparently opposite

viewpoints can both be true.  Also, that you can love two

people who don’t love each other.




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