Tag Archives: conflict

Just Try Not Reacting

MAINTAINING A NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE   Here’s a good trick if you can manage it.  I admit, it’s not an easy one but if you can do it, it will help you.  Just try to stay calm when your partner is … Continue reading

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Sometimes a Problem Doesn’t Have to Be

TURNING NORMAL DIFFICULTIES INTO “PROBLEMS”   That we are certain to have difficulties in relationships is so obvious it goes almost without saying.  When two different personalities come together to try to accomplish anything there is bound to be some … Continue reading

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Four Ways to Kill Love

THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE MARITAL APOCALYPSE   It has become pretty apparent by now that one of the chief causes of our society’s ills is the breakdown of the family.  The key to stabilizing families is making marriage work.  … Continue reading

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Your Partner is Already Telling You

YOUR PARTNER; YOUR TEACHER   Everyone would have a much easier time in their relationships if they would just go ahead and learn the lessons that are presented to them by their partners.  Or, if they would at least recognize … Continue reading

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Early Marital Stresses

WHEN THE HONEYMOON IS OVER   When the champagne is all gone, the wedding flowers have long since wilted and the honeymoon is just a romantic memory, the real work of marriage begins.  In this stage, conflict can seem to … Continue reading

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Can a Marriage be too Harmonious?

TOO MUCH HARMONY?   What is a “good marriage”?  How good does it have to be? And what does “good” mean, anyway.  Can a couple fight a lot and still have a “good marriage”?  What if they don’t fight at … Continue reading

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Everybody Needs a Little Harassment

EVERYONE NEEDS A LITTLE HARRASSMENT   In coastal China the people are fond of a small eel they catch in the open ocean.  Because they’re so small, it takes a lot of the eels to fill the boat and the … Continue reading

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Growing up with Violence

GROWING UP WITH VIOLENCE Living in a violent family affects children in characteristic ways.  In my therapy practice I have worked with many individuals and couples who have grown up with violent parents.  I have learned that family violence, even … Continue reading

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Normal Struggles of Marriage

NORMAL STRUGGLES OF MARRIAGE   One of the most discouraging and, ultimately, destructive ideas people have about marriage is that it’s supposed to be easy.  It’s not easy and there are many good reasons why. For one, we always come … Continue reading

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The Argue-Proof I-Statement

THE ARGUE-PROOF I-STATEMENT       When you have a discussion with your loved one, you want them to listen to you.  You want them to understand you and to know how you feel.  Your goal is not to have them fight … Continue reading

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